How about a little more peace in your life? There’s no way you just said, “No thanks, Mary. I’m good.” So let’s get in some practice.
In 2:15 you’ll learn how to stop fighting what’s happening in your life, and some practical ways to deal with it.
Thank goodness there was only one day last week when you had something
hard going on in your life,
or got sad news,
or somebody upset you,
or had to do something you really didn’t want to.
Good thing everything’s been awesome
since that one day.
You had MORE THAN ONE DAY last week when something went wrong or you had to deal with something or somebody you didn’t want to?
Okay, I know you’re not kidding.
These things happen every day.
They’re a part of living, like a few things I’ve had
over the last couple weeks:
- Order my Aunt’s grave marker
- Go back to court with ex-husband
- Work with doctor on new treatment options for my child’s medical condition that’s flaring up
- Support close friend after her sister’s DUI arrest
- Support friend whose wife wants a divorce
- Comfort family member who calls to say, “they saw something on my mammogram.”
And this is living.
The pain comes from fighting these things or raging against them as if they shouldn’t happen or happen the way they did.
“I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.” ~Byron Katie
But accepting reality doesn’t mean we just take
an “OH WELL” approach.
“Oh well, my child’s condition is getting worse.”
“Oh well, my wife wants a divorce.”
“Oh well, my sister got a DUI.”
Accepting reality means we don’t waste precious time
and energy arguing with the facts of the situation.
Because it’s reality.
It’s what happened or what’s happening.
It means we’re not texting/calling all our friends going over the situation again and again,
“THIS SHOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED!”
It means we’re not posting how that person “DID ME WRONG” on social media.
It means while we’re taking a shower we’re not coming up with ways to confront that person,
“How could you#*!*&@!”
Accepting what IS, means we go forward from where the situation is now. It doesn’t mean we can’t look back and learn from what happened. But to use our precious energy and brainpower on fighting reality instead of creating a game plan or developing a path for recovery, is useless.
“There’s only one thing harder than accepting this, and that is not accepting it.” ~Byron Katie
Try it today with something small.
Situation: You go to the break room at 4:00 pm because you’re desperate for a cup of coffee to get you through the next couple hours. BUT there’s NO COFFEE. And I don’t just mean the pot’s empty. There’s no coffee in the building. It didn’t get delivered or somebody didn’t do the break room shopping this weekend.
Thoughts: “How could Joe be so inconsiderate? Why didn’t he place the order on time? He’s never on top of his job. And why do they still have Joe doing it? Break room supplies should be ordered by Karen when she orders the office supplies…” Yep. Your thoughts can start to ramble on.
Reality: There’s no coffee. Now, it doesn’t mean you can’t bring it up at the next staff meeting or ask Joe about it, but you’re already tired. So to waste anymore time or energy raging against the situation is useless.
What to do instead: Be practical. You have two more hours at work and you want a pick-me-up. You can either walk to Starbuck’s, grab a bottle of water and get some fresh air, or get a piece of fruit and watch a quick video on YouTube and have a good laugh.
And one more from Byron Katie~ “You move totally away from reality when you believe there is a legitimate reason to suffer.”
I’m not saying this practice of ‘accepting reality’ is easy. But it’s far less painful than fighting ‘what is.’
If you’d like some help working through your painful experiences and thoughts, let’s set a date and time to talk.
Peace, love and light to you. 🌞