Over the past five years or so, our Christmases haven’t been “the most wonderful time of the year.” Separations, divorce stuff and all that does to a family unfortunately turned Christmas season into an “Oh no, what’s gonna happen this year,” kind of situation.
As Christmas, 2014 approached I started to pray, “Please God, we can’t take another Christmas like the last five.” I felt like the kids were just holding their breath, hoping this one would somehow be better.
A few days before Christmas, Grace said, “Mom, you can’t be the only one without a present under the tree. What do you want?” I told her, “Sweetie, I know you may not understand this now, maybe not until you’re a mom, but when I say that I have all I could ever want because I’ll have all my kids and grandkids with me for Christmas, it’s the truth.”
That evening though, I sat in my bedroom and asked myself this question.
“What is my intention for Christmas?” The answer came. PEACE.
Does PEACE sound too simple? Our last five Christmases have been the opposite of peace. So that was my intention. Not the perfect meal, although I did make some great food, not the perfect Christmas tree, although it was completely awesome, and not even the perfect guests and flow of events. I wanted PEACE. No matter what happened, I would remain in a place of peace.
First, thanks to God for keeping Christmas free from extreme heartbreak and pain this year. Second, thank you for life coach training and my teachers Martha Beck and Byron Katie for giving me the tools to work through the minor situations that did come up, with patience and grace.
What does this mean?
Well, as moms, we like things to go a certain way, usually OUR way. In my mind I’m thinking, “We’ll all sit down to Christmas Eve dinner, and then play Inglorious Bastards (the game they played in the movie – names on foreheads, 20 questions, you know), and then I’ll make hot buttered rum, and we’ll sing Christmas carols, and…” But since I didn’t actually tell anyone what my plans were for the evening, how could I expect anything else but what I got? My son’s friends came over, there was a bon fire, no games, no carols. But I did make some fantastic hot buttered rum, and dinner was delicious. Not once did I leave my heart and mindset of peace. Anytime a thought came up like, “What do you mean more friends are coming over?”, I did my thought work.
We did end up singing carols and played Inglorious Bastards on Christmas. I was with all five of the beautiful young people I’m grateful to call my kids. No drama, no tears, no heartbreak, no fear. Instead, we had laughter, hot buttered rum, champagne, lasagna, Christmas cookies, and PEACE.
I got my Christmas wish.