I was a few years late to the Dowton Abbey party. But I caught up one summer while jumping on my mini-trampoline. I’ve seen many of my favorite shows and videos while exercising.
If you’re one of the very few who aren’t familiar with this Masterpiece from PBS – it’s a historical period drama taking place in Northern England on a country estate between 1912 – 1926. And it’s awesome! I love it so much – here I am with my daughter Grace, at the Downton Abbey Exhibit in New York City!
It’s one of those shows I enjoy going back to when I just feel like catching up with old friends. I think everybody has a few of those cherished programs that make them feel right at home.
I have many favorite storylines in Downton Abbey, along with favorite scenes.
In season four, three characters – Tom, Mary, and Isobel, are affectionately reminiscing about their beloveds. Each of their spouses is deceased. They each share the moment they either knew it was true love or knew they’d be spending the rest of their lives together.
For a moment each character’s face is draped in melancholy as they feel the loss of their beloveds. That is until Isobel, the elder, brightens as she says, “Well, aren’t we the lucky ones!” Tom and Mary are a bit startled by her words, but they quickly understand their meaning and Isobel’s happiness.
They each experienced a great love. True love. Indeed, they are the lucky ones.
How about you? Are you a lucky one?
Can you look back at a difficult situation in your life and tell the story in a way that doesn’t cause you pain anymore? It’s not easy, and sometimes years will pass before you can do this.
But if you’re willing, take a look back at a tough time in your life. Can you see it now simply for what it was, without adding a painful story to it? And can you possibly even see the luck or the blessing in it?
It’s all about how you tell the story.
Me, in 2001.
Story A. “I got laid off. I can’t believe they did this to me. I gave them everything I had. I worked weekends, took work home every night, and missed special events with my family. They’re so ungrateful! They never cared about my contributions. They used me! How will I find a job now?”
Story B. “I got laid off. They made a decision to go with someone who could fill two roles for one salary and I didn’t have both skill-sets. I didn’t know how to set appropriate boundaries around my personal time then. I believe they valued me, but in the end, they had to do what was best for the company.”
Guess which story I told myself in 2001?
Yep, story A. I cried, ranted and blamed. It took me years to finally tell story B and see the blessing in the layoff that led me to where I am today.
Me, in 2013.
Story A. “My mom had a massive stroke that destroyed most of her brain. This shouldn’t have happened. She was doing so well before this. She was so happy spending time with her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. There’s nothing the doctors can do for her. There’s no hope. We’re sitting here helpless, watching her die.”
Story B. “My mom had a massive stroke and will not recover. With hospice, she’s left the hospital and returned to her beloved home which she’s cherished for 50 years. Her family has encircled her bed and remains with her round the clock. When she dies, she’ll be surrounded by love.”
I never told myself story A.
After the initial shock of my mom’s stroke, I saw the situation as story B. No anger, blame, helplessness or despair. I was sad my mom wouldn’t be with us anymore, but beyond that, I had only gratitude that she would die in the comfort of her home with her family by her side.
What story are you telling yourself about an irritating or painful situation?
Take a look at that story.
In fact, say it out loud to yourself, slowly.
Now say it out loud again.
Are there parts of the story that may not be completely true?
Are you adding commentary that’s only causing you sadness or anger?
What’s it costing you to keep holding onto your painful story?
How could your life benefit by letting go of that story?
You and your life are worth it.
Taking the time to question your painful stories is a practice. And while I can’t tell you that it happens overnight or that I’m a master at it, I can tell you that when I do question a story or thought that’s making me sad, angry, or uncomfortable, a little light comes in.
With that light, I can begin to let that painful story go along with the sadness or anger that’s holding me back or keeping me stuck, and I add a little more peace to my life.
My friend, you can do this too.
Well, aren’t we the lucky ones.
If you’re ready to let go of some of that old pain and let a little light in, let’s talk. CLICK HERE to schedule your FREE 30-minute session with me.
I’m telling you, peace feels a whole lot better than sadness and anger.
Love, light, and grace to you.💛
My goal is to help you live your healthiest and happiest life with weight loss surgery by cultivating a peaceful, fresh approach to following the fundamental bariatric surgery guidelines. I’m a Life Coach and Weight Loss Surgery advocate. I’m not a medical or mental health care professional. Your activity in the Fresh Approach Facebook Group or on any site managed by Mary E. Clark, LLC means you understand that what I’m teaching is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. Always speak to your doctor or other professional healthcare providers before undertaking or making changes to any health program.