“I’m still not back on track from the holidays.
I have no self-control.
I have no one to blame but myself.
Should I do the pouch test?
Should I cut out all carbs?
Should I keep all junk food out of the house?
I’m failing at keeping the weight off.”
-My weight loss surgery friend, 2 years post-op
Can you hear the panic in her voice? I bet you can almost feel it.
We’ve all been there, maybe you’re there right now.
But this is the exact PANIC and DESPERATION you thought you’d be done with after weight loss surgery.
You thought you’d have more
Really? How was that supposed to happen?
It’s not like it can be implanted during surgery.
Surgeon: “Alright, we’ve got that cauterized. Now, nurse please hand me the WILLPOWER and SELF-CONTROL. We’ll just get those properly inserted…and…there ya go! Kate is one lucky woman! She can only eat extremely small portions AND she has WILLPOWER and SELF-CONTROL super-strength! She’ll NEVER have to worry about her weight again!”
If only, right?
So here’s the thing.
I think a lot of us in some way did think we’d be stronger in those areas because having surgery was such a serious step. It’s not like dieting. We actually went under anesthesia to do this.
IT’S A BIG DEAL!
So when you hit a plateau or regain, you tend to feel like a failure.
You blame yourself.
You feel desperate.
“This can’t be happening.
How could I let this happen?
What will people say?
I can’t go back to my surgeon – how embarrassing!
I’m a loser.”
Sweetheart, you are definitely NOT a loser.
You are NOT a failure.
Your surgeon didn’t magically implant willpower or self-control during your surgery.
Our surgeons altered the way your stomach works, that’s it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying the surgery isn’t amazing.
I know it first-hand…literally. No more finger pricks to check my blood sugar.
But it can’t do everything. And neither can ‘willpower’ or ‘self-control’.
Feeling like a ‘loser’ or a ‘failure’ after weight loss surgery requires going deeper than a pouch-test or cutting out carbs.
It takes patience, awareness, time, effort, courage and self-compassion.
I have a few questions for you.
Why did you go to all those appointments before surgery?
The lab tests, cardiac tests, pulmonary, GI, specialists, the dietitian, the psychologist? Why did you do your pre-op diet?
Why did you attend classes or support group meetings before surgery?
Why did you have weight loss surgery?
Hold up! Take a deep breath and answer this question, slowly.
Okay – for me…although I had other medical problems, I didn’t want type 2 diabetes anymore. I wanted to stop injecting insulin. I wanted my toes to stop having sharp shooting pains.
What was YOUR pre-weight loss surgery WHY?
There’s a good chance your WHY has been realized. After surgery I never injected insulin again and my blood sugars have been normal since 2011.
See, that’s what happens. Our WHY changes.
So the same motivation to go to all those pre-op appointments probably doesn’t exist anymore.
Your WHY has changed.
WHY do you want to be healthy this year?
WHY do you want to be healthy 5 years from now?
WHAT will you be doing?
WHERE will you be going?
WHO will you be with?
You want to get clear on your WHY today.
Sweetheart, plateaus and regain aren’t about your lack of self-control or willpower. It’s about making a heart and mindset shift.
Step #1. Get clear on your WHY.
Love, light and peace to you.